Yesterday the Antibes lifeboat was supposed to act as an observation platform and shepherd for a survey of marine mammals out in the Mediterranean. Our survey area was about 10 nautical miles off the Esterel, in a part of the sea about 3500 feet deep. Having arrived at the station at the allotted time, there was a no show from the lifeboat. Five minutes later it came into port, with tired hungry crew on board. After we tied up, I found that they had already responded to a 'shout'. Somebody who had fallen ill on a boat anchored offshore.
As coffee brewed and croissants were consumed, we learned that the DELPHIS had been cancelled, as the weather conditions were regarded as a little too risky for the many small craft which were to take part. So it was a chance to go dolphin spotting en famille. The lifeboatmen, their families and floozies (no overlap as far as I could judge) boarded the vedette. The BH (family, I have to stress) was amongst them, trussed up in a fetching red lifejacket with blue piping and yellow straps.
We roared off into the Med. Very quickly, even the mountains became invisible in the heat-haze, and we were absolutely alone in the oggin, about 18km offshore. Suddenly the cox cut the motors, and shouted "Prés à l'eau". Turned out that the poor chairman of the lifeboat branch, in order to please local traditions and, who knows, obtain financial support, had been one of the bearers of the enormous Virgin Mary statue, which is carried, barefoot, all the way from the cathedral to the sanctuary of la Garoupe. The path, with its stations of the cross, is very stony and steep. So the Prés (président) was very much in need of a wash.
Yours truly decided to take the leap (literally), too. So here we are, not quite touching the bottom, eighteen km out to sea, and in 550 fathoms of water. Clear as glass and piss warm. We were the only marine mammals seen that day. We did our best to gambol and dive, but, from the DELPHIS point of view, it was small beer.
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