Hard tack

On Friday the lads at the lifeboat station inflated a survival raft to teach kids from a colonie de vacance about water safety. As it inflated, with a loud wheezing sound, it stretched and yawned like an elephant waking up. The kids loved it, but a reporter from Nice Matin, who got too close for a good shot, had a real fright.

In the raft were the usual survival items: fishing hooks, chart, torch, knife etc., plus a supply of ship's biscuit. You would need to be pretty hungry to eat it, as I have rarely tasted anything quite so horrible. Still, it is formulated to keep you alive, with a scientific mix of fats and carbohydrates.

The kids thought it was revolting. Not so our doves, who found it so much to their liking that they began bossily pecking my fingers for more...