Redevance Audiovisuelle

Gradually, we are getting there. Slowly, ever so slowly, we are being recognised by the French state, including its taxation arm. The latest episode concerned not income tax, which may have to wait till September, but local taxes and television licences. The local taxes, divided into two parts, have taken the best part of a year to sort out, but are now more or less in order (and a good deal cheaper than Edinburgh).

The real surprise, however, was a demand for a television licence, which accompanied the bill for the local taxes. One hundred and eighteen euros, or else, to be paid towards French creativity in the audiovisual sector: presumably to carry on subsidising the sub-crap shite which passes for TV in this country. Not possessing a TV, and having looked up the laws of the land, I decided to contest this demand. Easier said than done. The wait at the hôtel des impôts (note the two circumflex accents), was naturally twofold, during which time I had to listen to a horticultural bore and a single, underage mother with three kids in tow (Kevin, Kenzo and Angelina). Finally, I was told that I had to go away and write a missive, declaring, on my honour (wonder what that's worth) that I had had no televisual receiving apparatus, or equivalent apparatus (as defined by the relevant clauses of the law), from first of January 2009 etc..

That said, the tax inspectors, labouring in airless, stressful conditions, were a model of friendliness and understanding. How they translated the complete gobbledegook of French officialdom into meaningful ordinary speech defeats me. They ought to get the top translation prizes.

However, the mere fact that I had contested their imposition didn't mean that I wasn't liable. I was informed that I was obliged to pay up by the deadline, unless I heard from them to the opposite effect. Merely being in the process of exemption did not let me off the hook, even if the outcome was foregone.